Something Holds On

There is a something quiet rumbling away in the background, not sure what it is, but I have the feeling that it knows more than I do and that it is controlling me. If I am to be in a muted contentment for awhile, it is the master of that, if I am to be striving for more, it is the driver of my ambition not I. Here I am a puppet for something else, all movements internally, all attitudes and positions or changes of heart are frustratingly beyond my control, never before has this been so obvious, and yet still there is something inside me that is trying to take the reins, trying to gain back the power