Mindfulness, thought-watching, being present, being pure awareness are all achievable states. But states they are, states of little me, and like all states they don't last....the highs become lows, the wows turn to ows. What does last? What is always there? Could that mainly invisible entity be your significant other? Could it even be the real you?
You may have noticed that thinking doesn't lead to understanding- it leads to more thinking, or even emotion. Understanding works it's way to you when you have given a matter right attention. Right attention is not thinking. Right attention is simply looking, being present and letting things arise or not. Later understanding comes in the form of a gradual knowing, or a sudden impulse. See for yourself that right attention is understanding's invitation. You can't find understanding. It finds you.