Around That

This week, sitting the classroom, waiting for my students to finish their exercises, I listened for the silence, the silence in every moment, the field of silence around every tiny event, like when a student picked up a fat grey dictionary, clomped it down again, then sniffed, there was pure silence in every nano of it, so silent and clean- I had to let go of some normal neural labour and instead felt or willed a big release from a hard lump of self, settling in painful waves in my jaw, that sense of trying, stubborn resistance of and yet painful urging for the big here-and-now event. And then in the depth of that silence and sweetness of the escape little bubbles of adrenalin ran up my left side. I nearly gasped from the high vibrating pleasure of it, could have fainted or slipped into beautiful coma.